Occam’s Razor

(argumentum ad eviscerandum)
The simplest logical explanation is that you never had a wallet in the first place. QED!

OCCAM’S RAZOR (Lat. ar­gu­men­tum ad evis­ceran­dum), a rhetor­i­cal tech­nique by which key as­pects of one’s op­po­nent’s be­lief sys­tem are de­con­struct­ed through re­lent­less ap­pli­ca­tion of re­duc­tio ad re­duc­tum. Thus dis­lodged from all epis­te­mo­log­i­cal un­der­pin­nings, the un­hap­py vic­tim then is left to float help­less through­out eter­ni­ty in a solip­sis­tic sea of un­dif­fer­en­ti­at­ed con­scious­ness. It is called such be­cause it was the fa­vorite weapon of English rene­gade monk and Nom­i­nal­ist philoso­pher Wil­liam of Oc­cam (c.1285–1349).

As an ex­am­ple of the Ra­zor’s pow­er­ful ef­fect, con­sid­er the fol­low­ing two ar­gu­ments:

First Argument Second Argument
Major premise All mortals die. The plague causes death.
Minor premise All men are mortal. Some men have the plague.
Conclusion All men die. Some men die.

De­spite the ap­par­ent unas­sail­abil­i­ty of the above, the Ra­zor-wield­ing Nom­i­nal­ist would im­pla­ca­bly re­spond with swift am­pu­ta­tion of the premis­es as­so­ci­at­ed with the sec­ond ar­gu­ment, ob­serv­ing that the con­clu­sion to which they lead is cir­cum­scribed by that of the first; and there­fore that the whole con­cept of ‘plague’ may be dis­missed out­right as a delu­sion born of four­teenth cen­tu­ry log­i­cal naïvety.

Wil­liam of Oc­cam was de­clared a heretic in 1328.