1789 -- The young United States of America establishes a Treasury Department, having realized that money would eventually need to be dealt with.
1929 -- The Dow Jones Industrial Average closes at a record high of 381.17.
1998 -- Google gains life as a corporate entity.
1945 -- First Cold War begins with the revelations of a Soviet whistleblower.
2006 -- The United States officially advertises its global CIA prison network, although it had been successfully operating for some time.
1778 -- France easily takes the Caribbean island of Dominica from Britain, who didn't know they were at war and assumed the invaders were only visiting.
1966 -- Celebration of the first International Literacy Day, a yearly observance and assessment of the ability's presence and decline.
1850 -- California joins the United States, a condition that it has tried to rectify in various ways ever since.
2008 -- The Large Hadron Collider powers up without incident, to the disappointment of doomsday theorists.
2001 -- Beginning of perpetual war between the United States and the Axis of Evil.
1957 -- Establishment of the North American Air Defense Command, mostly known for tracking Santa Claus.
1968 -- The Soviet Union bids good riddance to Albania, who quits the Warsaw Pact due to mutual disdain and mistrust while other members look on enviously.
1959 -- The Soviet craft Luna 2 becomes the first piece of space junk on the Moon.
1935 -- Nazi Germany adopts the swastika flag, ruining the symbol for everyone forever.
1987 -- Signing of the Montreal Protocol, banning substances which destroy the planet's ozone layer in favor of substances which result in global warming.
2011 -- First day of a lengthy, crowded occupation of a New York City park several blocks from Wall Street, to the vast benefit of nearby fast food establishments.
1977 -- Voyager 1 probe photographs Earth and the Moon in the same picture, which is quickly published in another attempt to silence skeptics.
1959 -- Soviet Premier Khrushchev brings his family all the way to California but is denied entrance to Disneyland.
2001 -- War on Terror first used by U.S. President Bush to name the ongoing struggle with the Axis of Evil. It would be renamed years later to Overseas Contingency Operation, reflecting its more distant and episodic but still permanent nature.
1982 -- First International Day of Peace, still observed in many nations including those typically waging war, as a nod to the alternative.
1965 -- The U.N. calls for an end to the war between Pakistan and India. In a separate development, war between Pakistan and India ends.
1993 -- A constitutional crisis is sparked in Russia when Pres. Boris Yeltsin and the Russian parliament impeach each other. The resulting standoff ends ten days later with a formal transition to Russia's current oligarch-based system of government.
1122 -- The Concordat of Worms ends the investiture controversy between Holy Roman Emperor Henry Ⅴ and pope Calixtus Ⅱ⁺/Gregory Ⅷ⁻.
1906 -- Devil's Tower, Wyo. becomes the first United States National Monument due to its unique geological characteristics and suitability for extraterrestrial landing.
1690 -- The first American newspaper is published. It is shut down after one issue by British colonial authorities for containing too much uncontrolled information.
1580 -- Sir Francis Drake returns to England after completing his world tour of exploration and piracy.
1949 -- The design for the flag of the People's Republic of China, remarkable for its staying power, is approved.
1964 -- A government report concludes that JFK's assassination was not a conspiracy, and is widely ignored.
1789 -- The U.S. Congress adjourns its first session. Having been generally productive in this proof of concept, further sessions would be held with varying degrees of success.
1977 -- U.S. shuts off its Moon-based scientific equipment due to lack of funds to pay the power bill.
