Nude “Antifa” Groups on the Rise

Berke­ley, Calif.---A grow­ing num­ber of so-called “An­ti-Fas­cist” or “An­tifa” protest groups have be­gun march­ing naked, this re­porter has ob­served.

When asked about the trend, a nude protester called Righ­teous Lefty ex­plained: “We re­al­ized that wear­ing black was cul­tur­al ap­pro­pri­a­tion. White is out for ob­vi­ous rea­sons, and the oth­er col­ors were thought to be po­ten­tial­ly prob­lem­at­ic in ways we aren’t clear about yet. So, we de­cid­ed to play it safe.”

Righ­teous Lefty was fur­ther asked if the lack of cloth­ing might in­crease bod­i­ly dan­ger, es­pe­cial­ly dur­ing protest ac­tions which in­clude use of Molo­tov cock­tails, bon­fires and burn­ing struc­tures. “No, it ac­tu­al­ly makes things eas­i­er, be­cause we no longer have that prob­lem of some­one’s clothes al­ways catch­ing on fire when they’re light­ing stuff.”

The trend is ex­pect­ed to in­crease dur­ing the sum­mer months. Lo­cal law en­force­ment of­fi­cials did not re­spond when asked for com­ment.