Evil

EVIL, the rate at which work is ex­pend­ed to pro­duce suf­fer­ing. It is an in­di­rect­ly ob­served scalar quan­ti­ty, mea­sured in terms of equiv­a­lent de­struc­tive en­er­gy rel­a­tive to a known ref­er­ence atroc­i­ty.

In the clas­si­cal for­mu­la­tion shown above, Φ_† rep­re­sents the dev­astat­ic flux in joule-sec­onds per cu­bic cen­tiper­son, ₰ is the pre­vail­ing di­alec­tic field mea­sured in mi­cro­hegels, ₥ is ma­lig­ni­tiv­i­ty in ra­di­ans, and ξ₀ is the uni­ver­sal con­stant for the per­mit­tiv­i­ty of a moral vac­u­um. Sym­bols q and q′ rep­re­sent two very small res­i­dents of re­gion R, sep­a­rat­ed by an ir­rec­on­cil­able dif­fer­ence of |r|.

Unit of Measurement

The S.I. unit of evil is the hitler (卐). It is a log­a­rith­mic scale with 1.0 卐 rep­re­sent­ing the the­o­ret­i­cal max­i­mum amount of evil which is ther­mo­dy­nam­i­cal­ly pos­si­ble un­der non-es­cha­to­log­i­cal con­di­tions. Every­day mea­sure­ments de­scrib­ing politi­cians, civ­il ser­vants, man­agers, wait­staff, and the like are more con­ve­nient­ly ex­pressed in mi­cro­hitlers (µ卐).